My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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