So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
