Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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