I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
