Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
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