Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
