Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
