I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
me + whiskey = a bad person
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize