i need an iv and a liver transplant
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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