So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
