just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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