Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
