Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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