...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
