White coat. Heels.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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