i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
