I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
