So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
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I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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