I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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