He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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