I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
