Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
