Your face is a jimmy john
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
