How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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