All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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