That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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