how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
