soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
