apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
