i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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