It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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