If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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