A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
