I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
