She is in my trunk
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize