just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
