Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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