He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize