I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
