Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i've created a new STD.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
