If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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