I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
