I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
