I'm going to jail i love you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize