margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
