I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
