I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
