1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Randomize
