I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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