He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
