Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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