my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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