I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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