can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize