Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
