just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize